Truth in Simpsons. . . In Advertising
Tonight was a night not unlike any other. I got home a few minutes before Unequivocal Prowess, played on the computer for a little bit, watched an old episode of "Charmed" and fell asleep for a 15 minute power nap. When I awoke the Simpsons was on, it was the Treehouse of Horror VI episode. The most famous segment of this one is the one where Homer falls into the third dimension and everything is computer animated with three dimensions. It's some of the first cartoon work done in 3D so it's very Tron-ish, but it's not that bad. This isn't the segment I want to talk about, though, the segment I speak of this evening is the Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores. In this story, strange atmospheric conditions cause all of the large advertisements in and around Springfield to come to life and reek havoc on the town. Lisa goes to the advertising agency that produced all of the ginormous eyesores (which, by the way, has the greatest fake ad in the background ever. It's for Laramie Cigarettes and has a picture of all these people smoking with the subtitle, 50 Million Smokers Can't Be Wrong, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha) and finds out that the only way to kill an advertisement is to just quit paying attention to it. Lisa, with the help of the legendary Paul Anka, convinces everyone in town to ignore the huge beasts and sure enough, they all die.
This brings me to the following question: Why are we still "Crazy for Cocoa Puffs," "Following Our Nose," for Fruit Loops, and most annoying of all, why can't that damn rabbit realize that, "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids."? Cereal commercials have been the most ridiculous, annoying things on television for years. I hated them when I was a kid, and I straight up LOATHE them now.
The Simpsons is a television program that really doesn't get it's due most of the time. It is a wise and intelligent program that tends to err on the side of good, moral philosophies. This is why at UCLA the most popular sophomore level class for years was "Philosophy According to the Simpsons." It was so popular that it spawned a book of the same name (this was, of course, followed up with a series of books such as "Philosophy According to Comic Books," "Philosophy According to the Sopranos," and "Philosophy According to the Lord of the Rings.") So I think I'm okay to play the "They Know What They're Talking About" Card. Anyway, in this episode Springfield realizes that if they just stop paying attention to the advertisements they will all die and all will be well. Thus, I ask this question, "WHO THE HELL IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THESE DAMN CEREAL ADS!?" C'mon, they've had the exact same slogans for at least the last 20 years. Are the ad execs really that uncreative that they can't come up with anything better than this? All of these ads have worn their welcome and I think it's time that we, as a nation, speak out. The reasoning for this grassroots movement is simple. I have a theory, and I think it's a pretty good one.
These cereal ads are the root cause of the obesity problem in America.
We all had parents at one time in our lives. It seemed innocent enough that we begged, pleaded, and temper-tantrummed our way to getting the cereals we craved when we were younguns; however, we have all witnessed this now at our local Wal-Mart or other shopping establishment and it isn't as cute as we once thought it was. It sucks, in fact. We are the kids who we now see and hate at the grocery store throwing fits because we can't have our Count Chocula. We thought, at one time, that there was a difference in the taste of these different cereals, but we know now as adults that they are all the same flavor: Sugar. If we, as a society, can all send e-mails to the cereal companies and get them to stop these advertising campaigns, then we have killed five birds with one stone.
Bird One: The obesity problem in America will automatically stop.
Bird Two: Nobody will care anymore if that fuckin' rabbit gets the fuckin' cereal.
Birds Three and Four: Toucan Sam and the damn cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs bird.
Bird Five: I don't have to watch these commercials anymore.
It's obvious, in this case, that the Simpsons was wrong, we've tried ignoring the ads, but they refuse to go away. We must take stronger action, and the magic of the internet (thank you, Al Gore) is the way to go. So I challenge each and every one of you who read this blog, all three of you, to send an e-mail to the evil cereal companies and ask, nay, demand that they take this rubbish off the air.
Now, you are saying to yourself one thing and asking yourself another. You are saying to yourselves, "This is a smart guy, he's the only one who can actually solve obesity in this country." That, and, "He's right, I should e-mail/protest/boycott evil cereal." And you are asking yourself, "Where the hell does he see these commercials? I haven't seen one since I was 4." Well, that, my friends is the conclusion of my evening. Unequivocal Prowess and I come home, watch the Simpsons, eat some dinner and then watch 30 minutes of the most exciting and poignant show on television; Spongebob Squarepants.
Think about it, do you want your children going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in the middle of the Wal-Mart aisle when that day comes? I think not.
This brings me to the following question: Why are we still "Crazy for Cocoa Puffs," "Following Our Nose," for Fruit Loops, and most annoying of all, why can't that damn rabbit realize that, "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids."? Cereal commercials have been the most ridiculous, annoying things on television for years. I hated them when I was a kid, and I straight up LOATHE them now.
The Simpsons is a television program that really doesn't get it's due most of the time. It is a wise and intelligent program that tends to err on the side of good, moral philosophies. This is why at UCLA the most popular sophomore level class for years was "Philosophy According to the Simpsons." It was so popular that it spawned a book of the same name (this was, of course, followed up with a series of books such as "Philosophy According to Comic Books," "Philosophy According to the Sopranos," and "Philosophy According to the Lord of the Rings.") So I think I'm okay to play the "They Know What They're Talking About" Card. Anyway, in this episode Springfield realizes that if they just stop paying attention to the advertisements they will all die and all will be well. Thus, I ask this question, "WHO THE HELL IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THESE DAMN CEREAL ADS!?" C'mon, they've had the exact same slogans for at least the last 20 years. Are the ad execs really that uncreative that they can't come up with anything better than this? All of these ads have worn their welcome and I think it's time that we, as a nation, speak out. The reasoning for this grassroots movement is simple. I have a theory, and I think it's a pretty good one.
These cereal ads are the root cause of the obesity problem in America.
We all had parents at one time in our lives. It seemed innocent enough that we begged, pleaded, and temper-tantrummed our way to getting the cereals we craved when we were younguns; however, we have all witnessed this now at our local Wal-Mart or other shopping establishment and it isn't as cute as we once thought it was. It sucks, in fact. We are the kids who we now see and hate at the grocery store throwing fits because we can't have our Count Chocula. We thought, at one time, that there was a difference in the taste of these different cereals, but we know now as adults that they are all the same flavor: Sugar. If we, as a society, can all send e-mails to the cereal companies and get them to stop these advertising campaigns, then we have killed five birds with one stone.
Bird One: The obesity problem in America will automatically stop.
Bird Two: Nobody will care anymore if that fuckin' rabbit gets the fuckin' cereal.
Birds Three and Four: Toucan Sam and the damn cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs bird.
Bird Five: I don't have to watch these commercials anymore.
It's obvious, in this case, that the Simpsons was wrong, we've tried ignoring the ads, but they refuse to go away. We must take stronger action, and the magic of the internet (thank you, Al Gore) is the way to go. So I challenge each and every one of you who read this blog, all three of you, to send an e-mail to the evil cereal companies and ask, nay, demand that they take this rubbish off the air.
Now, you are saying to yourself one thing and asking yourself another. You are saying to yourselves, "This is a smart guy, he's the only one who can actually solve obesity in this country." That, and, "He's right, I should e-mail/protest/boycott evil cereal." And you are asking yourself, "Where the hell does he see these commercials? I haven't seen one since I was 4." Well, that, my friends is the conclusion of my evening. Unequivocal Prowess and I come home, watch the Simpsons, eat some dinner and then watch 30 minutes of the most exciting and poignant show on television; Spongebob Squarepants.
Think about it, do you want your children going cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in the middle of the Wal-Mart aisle when that day comes? I think not.
posted by the count at
5:28 PM
8 Comments:
Actually, I'm okay with the cereal commercials, except for Cinnamon Toast Crunch. It should be a law that anybody who's been involved with the making of a Cinnamon Toast Cruch commercial should be executed on sight.
By
bad-journalist.blogspot.com, at 8:07 PM
Agreed.
By
the count, at 5:27 AM
The thing about the Ovaltine commercials that cracks me up is that they have such bad acting that it seems almost intentional. Weirdly enough, it makes me want Ovaltine. Sort of like drinking irony . . .
By
bad-journalist.blogspot.com, at 10:04 PM
I have seen Paul Anka in concert at TPAC... and I'm at one with sharing that.
Maybe we should go to the politicians and demand only a few choices in the cereal aisle -- mush, gruel, grits, oatmeal; all plain, no extra flavoring. That'll do away with the moons, stars, and purple horseshoes...
By
genderist, at 4:36 AM
Yeah, Ovaltine is probably the absolute worst advertising campaign ever. That's a rant for another time, and it's not that I'm against all the sugary sweet cereals for grown-ups. Maybe we petition congress to set an age limit of 18 years old to eat those cereals, sort of make it a priveledge, like smoking or voting. This congress is so right wing that they'd probably take that and run with it. Something like, "If you don't want America's youth to be healthy then you don't want our armed forces to be strong in the future. And if you don't want our armed forces to be strong then you must hate freedom. Why do you hate freedom so much?" It would have no problem going through if it piggy-backed on some bill giving them another raise or donating another $80 billion to the war in Iraq. Just some thoughts, everyone, call your state congressman and get this done. The rabbit must be taken out. Code word: Silly rabbit, bullets are for you.
By
the count, at 5:40 AM
Dad told me on the phone this morning that a phone poll had been done and found that Americans can tell you more names of the Simpsons characters than they can name the five rights given to people by the First Amendment of the Constitution... I told him that they'd be able to tell more if it had been in an episode of the Simpsons...
By
genderist, at 4:15 PM
Eep - you mean those Trix commercials are still running? *shudder*.
There are times when I'm glad I don't have a tv... not that there'd be Trix commercials in England or anything... but still...
*shudder*
By
Kate Mc, at 6:10 AM
On the Simpsons/First Amendment thing- that poll was very badly worded. Having been through law school and passing no less than 2 bar exams with each with one hour essay questions on the First Amendment, I would be very hard pressed to answer such a bizarre question as "what are the five freedoms the first Amendment grants?"
First, the question implies that the Bill of Rights is something the government put together to give rights to its citizens, which I think is a very dangerous and constitutionally incorrect point of view, as it puts the kibosh on any notion of a privacy right in the constitution (an analysis which in and of itself is ludicrous given that such a right is implicit in the Fourth and Fifth Amendments, but whatever.)
Second, "the five rights" analysis is bogus because it somehow implies that there are separate, distinct, and equally important bodies of law for each of the "rights" named. I don't have to tell you that's not exactly the case- while things like hate speech and the Establishment Clause come up fairly often, you don't see very many "right of assembly" cases. It's asking a little much to expect anyone who's not Erwin Chemerinsky to be intimately familiar with the details.
Finally, frankly, the person who put together this little poll clearly did not even not what the hell or or she was talking about when it came to the First Amendment. They include the obscure "redress of grievances" as a major freedom of the First Amendment, yet lump Free Exercise and the Establishment Clause (two COMPLETELY different areas of First Amendment law) into the same category of "freedom of religion."
Americans can be rather dumb, but so can pollsters.
By
bad-journalist.blogspot.com, at 12:13 PM
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