It's On. . .

We've all got one. It's that friend that you really don't like, but still shows up from time to time. It's that friend that when he/she shows up everybody else in the group gets angry and the group disperses much faster than it would have regularly. However, when that friend isn't around, he/she still affects the group as a whole. Whenever the friend isn't around the group sits and talks about the friend, and it becomes apparent that deep down in their hearts, everyone really wants the friend to be there because things just aren't the same without him/her. I have this friend, and I miss this friend dearly, this friend and I haven't spent a significant amount of time together in at least a week. This is my old friend sleep.

Sleep and I apparently haven't been getting along lately. It's been over a week since I've gotten a good nights sleep and I've gotta tell you it's getting pretty fucking old being tired all the time. Now, you are asking, "Count, why don't you just take a nap when you get off work?" Well, you simpletons (sorry, I get a little cranky if I don't get my sleep), if I take a nap when I get off of work, then I for sure won't get a good nights rest because I will have exhausted (no pun intended) my need for sleep, and will be up all night not sleeping because I did so earlier in the day. My theory, little ones (again, lack of sleep), is that if I can be at optimal tiredness as I lay my head down to sleep in the night, then eventually, I may actually sleep through the night. This hasn't worked for awhile now, so obviously there is a flaw in my theory, I will have to make some changes in the variables before this becomes law.

So this is my open challenge to sleep (as to be read in the voice of the Macho Man Randy Savage). Oooooh yeahhhh! Sleep, it's been a little bit too long since you and I have stepped into that squared circle together. You see, the Count used to have respect for you but since you've been out, the Count really can't see why you should come back, ooooooh yeahhhhh! If, you do decide to come back the Count wants the first shot at you. Here's what the Count thinks, the Count thinks that maybe you and I should step down into that ring together and go at it old school style. The Count thinks maybe sleep would want to enter the ring and have a two man, over the top rope, battle royal with the Count; ooooooh yeahhhh! The last one standing wins and the Count has a little prediction for you, when it's all said and done, the only one standing in the ring is going to be the Count. But bring it on, sleep, cause if you think you can handle the Count, the Count is going to make sure that you learn that lesson, and fast. Oooooooooh yeahhhhh!

It's on, now. Yes, it is definitely on.